“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” – Proverbs 16:24

“Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.” – Proverbs 12:25

THE LAST FIVE years globally have not been particularly encouraging to say the least; it has been consistent bad news with no relief, and it’s ongoing or more so escalating. The constant array of mishaps takes its toll mentally and emotionally; we can take only so much before things start to cave in.

Have the last several years made us more compassionate or heartless? Have the repercussions of lockdowns made us more isolated or are we more sociable and genuinely more in touch with one another – and I don’t mean via social media. Some people carry on as if nothing happened; others brush it off into oblivion while having become more heartless and selfish; others have lost their way and are too afraid to venture out and connect with others again. Whatever the scenarios, we can be sure life has radically changed for all us, consciously and subconsciously.

If anything, the last few years should have taught us how fragile life really is, how short it is and how nothing should be taken for granted, especially each other.

The recent 2024 US election has given an unspeakable lift for many people, and there is the unmistakable atmosphere of enormous relief, hope and great anticipation of positive days and years ahead. For others, it’s like an odour of death. Good news lifts the spirit, even if the effects aren’t immediate, it’s certainly instilling such vigour to start rebuilding and restoring because of its guarantee to embark, just like with the last World War; victory had been declared, but there was still the remains of colossal damage to clear away; grief was still painful but strength was given to bear it and repair.

It is emphatically true that anxiety weighs the heart down, and how often that has been true with many of us. It can render one almost dysfunctional. It can be so debilitating. It clouds our judgement and our ability to soundly reason. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” as Proverbs 13:12 states, “…but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” That’s exactly what it feels like – sick; hope denied time after time sucks the life out of us bit by bit, no matter how resilient some of us may be, but a desire fulfilled restores life. It is indeed like a tree of life – an incredible picture.

Words spoken play such a vital part in our lives – whether for construction or destruction – few, if any,  encouraging words have been heard of late. They are almost foreign to our ears. Gracious, kind, uplifting words nourish the soul. “Cool water to one faint from thirst is good news from a far country.” – Proverbs 25:25. How Scripture perfectly encapsulates situations! One of many things we can be certain of is that there are a plethora – innumerable amounts – of people worldwide who are sorely discouraged, sick with misfortune, hope stretched out to where no hope is seen, and how they need genuine words of encouragement that will do wonders.

I am going to share something quite personal that recently transpired just a few days ago, and it’s one of the main reasons I’m writing this – more so, felt compelled to do. My Nan (Grandmother) is about to move after living in her home for forty-four years. Now, that amount of years is pretty hefty when considering all that has happened worldwide. I don’t need to recall main events; you’re all mindful of them in your own lives, but suffice it to say so much has changed throughout the last four decades. Forty-four years in the same house. I vividly remember helping Nan move in – whatever way a seven year old can! 1980 boxes everywhere as Nan (and she was young back then being only forty-four years old – yes, a ‘youthful’ Nan) requested where certain furniture was going to be placed (of course, she got stuck in just as much as everyone else). Countless memories have been made in her home, and if I were to replay all those events in high speed within a ten minute duration, it’d certainly be a story to tell. We were very family orientated, very close back then. Visiting my Nan for the weekend was a sheer treat; I loved going down there. My Nan was strict and suffered no fools. Strong personality, sharp witted, high level of intuition (and never wrong when discerning people) and very loving (she still is). She made life excitable, was always appreciative and never complained. Blue skies with full blazing sun added to the element in taking us to the parks, or if it was raining made use of opportunities in taking us to pantomimes, but if nothing was showing, there was plenty of fun indoor activities to keep us preoccupied. Complaining of being bored was something she didn’t tolerate; if one dared to utter that word in her presence she would be sure to end that mindset with plenty of house chores such as hoovering, mopping the floor, dusting (polishing) or digging weeds from the garden. We learned relatively quick! She wasn’t afraid to discipline and if a warning wasn’t heeded over siblings arguing, heads were banged together – yes, literally. Neither was it just a case of putting away bad attitudes or answering back; just even a bad look was out of order. Yet, despite the discipline – and in no way was it wrong – Nan wasn’t feared; she was highly respected – something that is sadly alien in our day and culture. Strict in her ways, but I would beg my Mum in allowing me to go down and spend the night over or weekend with Nan. Step out of line and we were in trouble; behave well and she’d spoil us rotten.

Fast forwarding to the present day, Nan isn’t so strong, mobile and quick witted as she was, but she still doesn’t suffer fools. She may not voice her disapprovals these days, but she still has that look – and that’s enough to dispel anything wrong! It’s heart-breaking to observe my Nan deteriorate compared to how strong she once was.

Today marks the day of her moving to another place to live. Last evening (15th) was the last night she would sleep in that house after forty-four years; tonight she’ll be sleeping in her new place (assisted living). I take my hat off to her in making this brave move. That’d be like saying to you, you’re going to spend the next ten years on the moon in colonising it – extreme, yes, but it gets the point over in speaking hyperbolically. I can only imagine how Nan feels – excited (as the pro’s far outweigh the disadvantages of running her home independently), but it’s not just a whole new chapter, but rather a new book – and at eighty-eight years of age; I mean – come on folks – we’d get stressed moving house just down the road at forty-four years of age!

Just two evenings ago I rang my Nan just to check in on her, and how all preparations were going ready for the big move. Boxes were packed ready to be picked up, and she sounded so excited. Yes, emotional that she’s leaving behind a huge part of her life ready to embark on a brand new journey – again, at eighty-eight years old. Spontaneously, I was compelled to do what I’ve never done before but I knew she needed to hear the words I was about to say. I’ve often told her I love her, but not to the degree I shared with her that night. I said, “Nan, I’m going to say something that I’ve never shared with you before, but I really believe you need to hear what I’m about to say. You have had such a huge positive influence over my life and you will always be my Nan; I couldn’t wish for a better one. I always loved coming down to spend the weekends with you and it was my life’s highlight. I always knew you had a strict side to you which was not wrong at all; it was part of all the other special aspects that make you my Nan. I’m proud of you and I love you.”  She was taken aback, shocked with surprise as if I was talking about someone else. I could instantly tell her demeanour had changed just by the sound of her voice. She was lifted and so encouraged. I cannot adequately put into words what exactly transpired, but it’s as if that telephone call became transfigured.  

The opportunity was there to either be missed or actioned upon. I couldn’t ignore that compelling despite the risk of Nan not listening, or me sounding like I’m having a mid-life crises. I knew she needed to hear those words of truth about herself, and she took those words on board. Nan has been very down emotionally of late due to her impaired mobility, not being as agile as she once was, facing the fact that she sometimes gets confused, repeats herself sometimes, and slowly but surely is losing more of her independence. Nan needed to know that she is very important and is much loved and still strong; Nan is still Nan and is a thrill to still have her around in our lives.  

Whether or not I spoke those words, the truth stands as to who she is, but what a lesson to all of us in not holding back from encouraging others, lifting others up, telling them they are much loved, that they are important to us. I don’t know the full repercussions those words had affect on my Nan later on after our conversation; she may have slept soundly that night, got up the next morning with a spring in her step, had more confidence in herself, perhaps her mobility was better. How we feel inside affects us physically, and words carry power; we can either build up or pull down with them – written or verbal.

Gracious words, kind words with truth and sincerity running through their entire content have power. No matter how small or big, or how insignificant we may deem them, they can change people’s lives.

We don’t know the depths of impact each of us have on one another with words and acts of kindness – that simple smile to a stranger who may be encountering a day from ‘hell’ we know nothing about, reacting kindly to someone who may be harsh with us – and that can be tough at times. Just that small act of benevolence, a gentle response could have a positive ricocheting chain reaction effect. Yes, life changing events.

At times it may entail responding to that email, making that phone call, or writing that letter someone is patiently and eagerly awaiting our response, and not a half-hearted reply just to get it off our back, but rather one of quality because we sincerely value that person. We seem to have become more incommunicable with all the latest platforms of communication available at our very finger tips. Contact with people, real contact – that warm hug, that tactile connection has been lost amidst our world of virtual reality. Time is precious and within its real essence is infinitely far more value than money some so easily part with. 

Oh, it’s in the actualities of life, the little things we tend to think are too simple, mundane, or not that important that speaks volumes to others. Surprisingly so, they are oftentimes the very opportunities the life of God pours through us.