ADAPTING FROM ONE culture to another is not as straightforward as some people make out. It is possible and plausible while adapting to a given society, one can effortlessly (naturally) maintain their predominant cultural distinctiveness. The undercurrent of ethnic influence has more effect than we are most times consciously aware of. Take for instance the sway of dialect that over time has influence on another person from one state and nation to another. It’s not always the case that either one’s accent or pronunciation is wrong – however ‘peculiar’ it may sound – but it is not unusual that either one or the other party will adapt themselves – unbeknownst – to the other, depending on the one who is most impressionable. I always find it admirable when I meet people who emigrate to a different continent, yet still, decades later, keep their dialect and inimitable personality intact and unchanged; one would be inclined to think they only came over for a brief visit.

It is sad to observe those who, once determined in their own personal convictions and principles, change because everyone else is living to the contrary – no matter how favourable the wrong. That is a betrayal of conscience, a sense of right in order to fit in and blend with the crowd. It is also a fear – of what others may think, if one was to remain true to their persuasions – which in essence is binding and inhibiting, “The fear of man lays a snare…” (Proverbs 29:25). Of course, some of us are influenced for the better and indeed certain cultural milieu can be the very making of us, but as civilization has its educational beneficiaries it can also have a stifling effect on those who are too easily susceptible and lack perceptive balance; etiquette has its values but also its limits. National and State Laws are fixed which demands the adherence of all citizens and residents, but adaptation to every culture’s whim is a totally different matter that only buries one’s true identity.

Every one of us are endowed with a unique personality, who and what we really are – not what some falsely project in society; we all have our idiosyncrasies, but not everyone of us conceal them as well as others. It takes a number of years in getting to know our friends, and for the masks (that so many wear) to courageously come off. That comes only with trust that endures through the ‘thick and thin’; they are the true friendships and the kind that last a lifetime. Yet how many friendships are built on falsehood, for when it comes to the cruel and bitter phases that life unexpectedly tends to throw out, they really have no-one to turn to but somehow fend for themselves. Life was not designed to survive and derive purpose in isolation; we may all be very sociable but some of which who are very lonely (a safety mechanism of self preservation) for fear of what others will make of their true selves that can only be expressed freely behind closed doors and away from everyone else. Society at large deems it odd and abnormal to how anyone can be reclusive, but isn’t that contradictory when many live behind a façade, ‘impressing’ the world with what really is a lie?

Without question, we have all, to some degree or other, tasted the fear of missing the mark in other people’s eyes; the pressure of ensuring we make ‘first’ and ‘lasting impressions’ defies our beliefs that we are free when we are nothing but ourselves. Some want to please everyone in order to avoid rejection; others are crowd pleasers even when it contradicts all that they stand for. In smaller numbers they muster the courage to speak their minds but in greater numbers they are easily swayed, which reminds me of an incident the apostle Paul mentioned: “But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. For certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party” (Galatians 2:11-12). Who would have believed, after having delivered that incredible discourse in Acts 2 and of his boldness markedly observed in Acts 4, the apostle Peter would again yield himself to such fear?

Paul said, “If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant [or slave – which carries greater clarification, remaining true to the original text] of Christ” (Galatians 1:10); Paul would have remained in bondage had he carefully minded (burdened himself) what others thought of him. We know Paul mentioned in 1 Corinthians 10:33, “just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved”, which lies within a completely different context; he was subservient to Christ alone, above all and in all he did. It mattered little to Paul of what others thought of him, while everything mattered to him what others thought of Christ.

Every regenerate believer plays a unique part in the body of Christ as Paul clearly distinguishes that each member does not all have the same function (Romans 12:4) “So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another” – verse 5; versatility makes up the whole; each member fulfilling their role, each person interdependent: “…growing up in every way into Him Who is the head, into Christ, from Whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow…”(Ephesians 4:15-16). And the key to growth is “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (chapter 5:21); “…above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony”. It is in such a bond of the Holy Spirit that we are enabled by grace to live with one another to function together, bearing their weaknesses as well as encouraging their strengths; accepting their quirks as well as their assets because we too recognise that we fall into such categories – we need as much grace as the weakest of them all, because it’s all by grace that we stand, not by our own strengths and abilities. It’s in this state that such a sway in changing from glory to glory is biblically justified, whole and righteous; it is not out of fear but out of freedom we lay aside what we thought was right in preference for the greater good of realising our purpose in living, that “each person is a unique expression of God’s loving design” ultimately bringing glory to Him, our Creator, Lord and Saviour.